At our recent Leadership Lessons event, we sat down with Kelly Vaughn, Senior Engineering Manager at Zapier, to unpack her journey from developer to people leader and how she’s using empathy, curiosity, and communication to guide teams in the AI era.
From handling tough performance conversations to helping engineers step into management, Kelly shared real stories and frameworks that make leadership feel more human — and more scalable.
🎥 Watch the full conversation on demand.
How did your journey into leadership begin, and what shaped your approach today?
“I actually have degrees in psychology, public health and social work — not computer science. So much of what I learned in therapy training applies directly to leadership: how to communicate, build trust, handle tough conversations and identify people’s strengths.
My clients just changed, from therapy clients to engineers. Those early lessons in empathy and listening completely shaped how I lead today.”
What’s one mindset you had to unlearn as you moved from developer to leader?
“Honestly, learning to shut up and start listening. As engineers, we love solving problems, but that instinct can get in the way of actually understanding what someone needs.
The best thing I ever did for my leadership growth was stop assuming I had the answer, and start listening deeply to the people around me.”
What advice would you give to leaders handling a performance issue for the first time?
“When someone’s struggling, don’t open with, ‘We need to talk about your performance.’ That puts people on the defensive. Instead, keep it specific:
‘Hey, this project seems stuck — how are you approaching it? Where can I support you?’
You’ll be amazed what comes out when you lead with curiosity instead of criticism. Sometimes it’s not skill or motivation — it’s clarity, confidence, or even workload.”
How do you help engineers prepare for management roles?
“When someone tells me they want to become a manager, I ask them to start writing their promotion case now. Not because they’re ready, but because it shows the gaps.
Maybe they haven’t mentored yet, or owned onboarding. Once we know that, I can help them get those experiences. My job is to advocate for them, and teach them how to advocate for themselves when that opportunity opens up.”
You mentioned a time when you questioned your own role, how did you navigate that?
“There was a point where I felt like a glorified traffic cop, just moving tasks instead of making an impact. That’s when I realised I wasn’t growing anymore.
I wrote a bold proposal for what I wanted to do next at my previous company. It didn’t go as planned, but it became the push I needed to look for the kind of challenge that would stretch me again.
That led me to Zapier, and it’s been exactly the kind of growth I needed.”
What’s your North Star when making tough calls as a leader?
“I always think about systems, how one decision ripples through everything else.
You can’t just ask, ‘Is this right for one person?’ You have to ask, ‘What are the unintended consequences for the team, the business, the culture?’
Leadership is systems thinking applied to people.”
How are you approaching AI adoption with your team?
“AI is incredible, but it’s not a magic bullet. You can’t just say, ‘AI wrote my code, ship it.’
You still have to understand and own everything you deliver. The growth opportunity isn’t in removing the human, it’s in learning where human judgment and creativity still matter most.
That’s what thoughtful adoption looks like.”
And finally, what’s one skill every aspiring tech leader should master?
“Communication, hands down. Whether it’s setting boundaries, giving feedback, or managing up — tough conversations never get easy, but they do get easier when you practice.
If you can communicate clearly and compassionately, you can lead anywhere.”
💡 Watch the full AMA with Kelly Vaughn to hear her stories on growing confident leaders, handling hard moments, and leading with humanity in an AI-driven world.